Falling for my Fears

Harrrriiiiissssoooooonnnnnnn....

That guy. I can't believe I still like him after a year of not ever seeing him at all (he's a year older than me so he was in high school when I was in middle school still). Why do I still feel the same towards him? It hurts :I I know he's a douche and my friend keep telling me that, I know he is. But I also know he has a soft side, I basically everything there is to know about the guy without ever even talking to him once. I feel like ever since I liked him i've been talking about my fears, one of my fears is darkness, especially in water, hence me as a dog drowning with blood from my chest spelling out Harrison).

I needa stop talking about my feelings because I don't want to be mocked or get told over and over again, "This is a teenager thing". But no, it's a Oxytocin problem. Too much hormones coming from me. I've been having mini anxiety attacks, today I had three, and I fear it's going to get worse.